Follow Your Star

Many hold people and things into our lives for the feeling of acceptance, we look to celebrities, politicians, role models, acquiring material possessions, having a societies deemed norms, etc., as the path in defining ourselves being wrong or right.

However, this thinking can be flawed, for no one person is perfect, because mostly the people we follow are either hiding their flaws, paying them off, or placing their inadequacies in other directions.

  • Most celebrities don’t have the same problem as everyday people
    • Most of us work 9 to 5 jobs
    • Do not have 15 personal assistance to do our every bidding
    • Unlimited funds to covering up secrets
  • Most role models are human and have flaws like we all do
  • Acquiring  the “Jones” lifestyle will not make you more friends, but more enemies and fake-ness
    • “Mo Money Mo Problems”

I never liked the book by Steve Harvey.

Goes to show that a man with anti-intellectual, homophobic, gender-normative, etc., can be so revered. Now before those who love him go into a frenzy; watch the CNN news clip he did. I don’t know about you, but a person who judges people negatively because they don’t follow the ways one deems right and insults them, is an ignorant, self loathing person. We were not put on this earth to be insulted for following someone else’s dictation of how life should be. It’s funny how his book became so relevant written by a man who does not follow that of a honest/good man.

But I digress in my point because this has been a long going fight that has been happening for years, on how we place power in majority of those that don’t deserve it.

Women today already know majority of the information that was placed in that book. I believe a few known truths are:

  • Men need to feel like they are providing to the “family” to feel secure
  • A Man will show you how they feel about you; women just need to listen to the actions
  • Act the way you want to be represented.
    • Like the song says: do not expect to act like a nickle and have the treatment of a dime

Long story short a woman should know her worth, her value and her expectations on treatment. Once a woman understands these three things the experiences that come to pass are more enlightening than the limitations. Same as for a man, but there are rarely books ever popularized by ways to treat/catch/keep a man.

My underlying point which I will speak about more later(relationships) is despite the books, the lectures, the blogs or the lessons. Be yourself, accept yourself and know what you will accept in return. For if you deviate from either of these things, the acceptance and happiness in the people you accept in your life will be gravely lessened in experience.

Hakuna Matata


Some can say, that’s the saying from a Disney movie. I like to think of it as using the beauty of another language to describe a common phrase.

Hakuna Matata = literally means “No Matter”, but the song states “No Worries”. Technically, they both mean the same thing, but I appreciate the literal meaning.

Such as:

No matter what happens in your life the best outcome will come to pass. It may not happen right away, but it will happen. One can work to plan for the road ahead, but one cannot dictate what the road will entail. I also believe that if you hurt people maliciously, cause pain or harm intentionally that your “best” outcome will come to pass. (With  a play on words with the word “Best”).

I believe if you hold onto your faith, truly believe in your blessings, and never waver then there is no need to worry on what tomorrow will bring. For no matter what comes to pass, no matter what happens along the journey, the best outcome will come to fruition for you.

Sadly, in my case, I have had many worries and many fears, many doubts and many tribulations. But worrying about them, stressing over them did me no justice. The worry just compounded the anxiety and fear of what I had no clue would actually happen. There is only so much you can prepare for that you need to just let go and breathe.

In this case I think of a gem:

A diamond is formed by a simple mineral, carbon.  However, not all carbon turns into a diamond. Only when the carbon survives intense heat and pressure does it becomes the most affluent and appreciated elements. This is what happens to us. When we go through life’s pressure and hardship and are still standing, do we come out shinning: stronger and more beautiful/handsome.

Now granted I used to endure this affliction ten fold. I was a horrible worrier to the point where it would debilitate me and I couldn’t move or think. I would lay in bed, analyze, re-analyze, close my eyes, or just stay still. This did me no good, provided no positive outcome, just magnified pain.  I still fall short at this for time to time and worry, stress and agonize; but I have learned when that annoying voice comes into my head, the more times I tell it to quiet, or perform a productive tasks, the more I have suppressed it from happening again.

We cannot stop the feeling of anxiety and worry, but we can quiet the negativity for good.  For the alternative is, if we spend our life worrying, we will not be able to enjoy the good times we have in this life or for our future. We will spend unnecessary time thinking about what can go wrong instead of focusing on what can and did go right. In addition, worry is not showing or allowing faith or good to come into your life.

What you think is what comes to be, so think about all the abundance in this life, all the positive points in this life and you will be surprised at the journey. Besides what could it hurt. 🙂
Do not worry about the past nor future; smile at the gift you have today (called the present). Be appreciative of the things you have and you will be surprised at the additional blessings that will come your way. Remove the negative people, things, and time and replace them with only positive.

Rejoice in today, not the faults that could happen tomorrow.