Lost in Thought

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The thoughts that linger in one’s mind

Sometimes when I think too hard (which) is more than I wish. I get lost in thought:

  • Did I make a wrong decision
  • Should I have went another direction
  • Why is “___” this bothering me (still)

I go over many items over and over in my mind. Should I not have said those words, should I not have cut that person off so soon, what would happen if I had taken these steps instead of another. I’d spend hours, sometimes days, several ice cream tubs, wine bottles; bags of even oreos and gummi bears stressing.

But when I stopped stressing when I stopped over thinking and just let go, accept my actions, accept my steps. Especially, in knowing that I did not cause anyone intentional malicious harm. I breathed and let it go.  That I did what I thought was best at the time. Whether it be wrong or right. And I would be surprised how everything would eventually come into place.How a lesson was learned or another door would open, etc.,. Que Sera, Sera; What will be will be. Or in today’s generation “It Is What It Is”. (I’m old school at heart).

Yes, even time to time I still question and analyze on why thing were/are. However, I ask my self as fleeting as this life is (only yesterday I was 9 years old, begging my mom for a new barbie doll) fast forward several decades later thinking to myself how time flies. Taking this into consideration, I breathe again and thing to myself I cannot be on my last time on this earth thinking about the stuff I didn’t do right, what I could’ve done better, but to live, to learn, to laugh and to love, but most of all to accept.

Accept the fact that I am me, there will never be a copy (maybe a variation), but never a true copy. So my lessons on this journey we call life is to enjoy the steps, that some how the things that are meant to be will correct themselves and the things that were never meant to happen will fade into HER(his)-story.

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