In this life I have come across many different types of people:
- The selfish
- The giving
- The neutral
- The ignorant
Yes, there are variations of some and sometimes there are combinations.
As I have seen, when we are kids we are innocent to the existence a life provides (meaning I know that there are loving people out there who had rough starts than others), but as we get older we start to realize that the cartoons and the storybooks that we came across as children aren’t as realistic as we once imaged life would be. There is no fairy god mother to grant your every wish, the magical animals that come to our rescue, nor the pretty dresses that brighten the day to have us dancing around or the mighty swords to save the day from all the wicked that is about.
As we become adults we realize the concept of needing money, the concept of suffering, and the concept of hunger (money, lust, vanity, etc.). The items that were prevalent to us as children in the form of the big bad wolf, the evil witch or the cruel knight. These things would come into the story, darken the day and sadden everyone that came in its wake. In these stories it doesn’t say how these villains became this way. Was it the need for revenge, the struggle with conquering poverty at any cost or never being accepted. We as the real world will never know. What we do know is there are the people in our lives who can create a negative outcome if we allow it.
My aunt in France once played me a song each time I got into the car when I would visit her . She asked me which one was I. The song she would play was:
Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams
“Everybody’s looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused”
As a youth I never looked into these words that hard. It was a nice beat and catchy. But as I am older I look back at these words and realize how intelligent she was when she asked me this simple question from this simple song. We all have a choice to define our destiny; to become the villain or the hero. Had anyone else caught this question in listening to this simple song? I look at my life now: past and present and I look at the small exclusive circle of people I have in it. I removed many people from my past because they cost me a pain or grievance more than I was willing to “pay” (pay can be thought of as: time, energy, money, and/or well-being).
I made that choice to remove the extra negativity. Each person I have in my life now still cost me a certain amount, but that debt I can pay. Yes, there are a VERY rare few that are kind to me without any cost. Those that say hello, those that check in or listen to me rant for no other reason, but to show they care (and I know I can rant because I have had many “gifts”). These people in my life are priceless and are the magic in my fairy tale. 🙂
I see and hear how people spend so much energy complaining about the wrong doing that others have done to them and I shake my head. Maybe I realized early on that you can’t expect people to be like you. So why do we spend so much time caring that someone did us wrong. Their hate and wrong doing is a cost that you shouldn’t have to pay. If you took the time and thought about all the anger and hate people rehashed all that energy has been wasted. Instead you could have learned a new language, a new trade, found a more worthy friend, or learned a new dance.
I am not saying don’t feel the hurt, nor am I saying don’t grieve for the loss. My intent is to not have you dwell on the negative and accept the positive that has now prevailed. Even if it was something that wasn’t expected. For everything has a reason even if the answer has not come to fruition just yet.
We should laugh at the people and things that did us wrong and thank them for no longer requiring a cost. Again, I am not saying forget or grieve, please do not misinterpret my words. I merely state to not dwell on the hurt that comes to pass. For that is the past, the present and future has so much joy the pain will PASS.
Do not allow people who did wrong to be glorified for the wrong, whether they cheated, lied, or disrespected; it’s not your battle. Feel bad for a day, but tomorrow forgive and do better than yesterday. Be glad for the lesson you learned, spend time on those things that matter for they are what cause happiness and success.